


Where is your blue coat now?

by AnonymousHime



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blind!Roy, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Parental!RoyEdAl/Parental!RizaEdAl, F/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Promised Day, everything i touch turns to angst, this started as a fluffy Christmas fic and now we're here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-10-20 19:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10669416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousHime/pseuds/AnonymousHime
Summary: Inspired by the song "North Swallow" by Barn Swallow.Royai blind!Roy AU. After Roy Mustang is honorably discharged from the military for his condition, Riza Hawkeye follows suit and the two agree to move on together, no longer dwelling on dreams long past. However, when they find a life-threatening danger lurking over them, will it all fall to pieces?





	1. The Five Stages Of Grief

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm so thankful for the positive response to my last Royai fic, and you guys have encouraged me to create a multi-chapter fic about the two! I actually started writing it in December as a Christmas fic, then one thing led to another and... Merry April, here's chapter one! Please enjoy!! ♪(´ε｀ )

Riza had always admired Roy, in one way in particular - he always looked ahead. Whenever tragedy struck, he never turned back or aimed his gaze towards the ground... instead he looked to the top with fire in his eyes. That's why her heart broke straight in two as she watched her former superior officer sinking into the deep depths of the darkness that claimed his mind. He was no longer looking ahead... because he couldn't _see_  ahead.

It was all too much, too fast... after Roy lost his sight to the Truth, it didn't take long for a letter to arrive at his hospital bedside. He had been deemed unfit to continue his duties, thus he was honorably discharged, and was even promoted two ranks to Major General. As if being robbed of the thing he needed most to see the future wasn't enough - he was robbed of the only thing that could help him achieve that future in the first place. All of his hopes and dreams he'd been building for years on end, crushed forever by a measly piece of paper. _Well, Rome fell in a day,_ Roy had mused.

\---

"We just have to be patient, Lieutenant." Roy's now pale grey irises stared in her direction as he stated this, a slight smile on the edges of his lips. "Once I recover, they'll let me right back in. I'm even Major General now, so just consider this a shortcut to the top."

Riza offered an encouraging smile but remembered he couldn't see it, so she instead substituted a gentle "Yes, sir."

But she knew the truth. The doctor had told her directly.

_"I'm sorry, but there's nothing even left inside his eyes for us to save. His vision was taken completely. The chance of him regaining it is zero-percent."_

\---

Riza started and nearly reached for her gun holster when her former superior officer's fist met the wooden desk of his home office with force.

"What do you mean you're leaving the military?!" Roy practically roared, eyes searching for Riza even though they'd never find her.

"As I said, Roy," Riza explained calmly, dropping the formalities. "I no longer see a reason to remain in the military if you're not there, too."

"But I'm going to be back soon! One month, tops!" Roy insisted through gritted teeth, rubbing his first finger and thumb together instinctively, though there were no gloves to ignite with even if he chose to snap.

"You said that a month ago, Roy. And the month before that."

The desk soon found itself sideways on the floor, one leg broken and all of its contents spilled.

"I know that!" He bellowed, "I know that..." The words escaped much quieter this time.

\---

"Hey Riza?" Roy broke the silence as the two sat by the roaring fireplace, Roy laying on the couch and Riza sitting in an armchair.

"Yes?" She looked up from the book in her hands.

"Could you... help me read something?" He asked timidly.

"Sure, what would you like to read?" She inquired curiously, now marking her page and setting her book down entirely.

"In my study, there's a set of red books on the shelf nearest to my desk."

Riza mentally mapped out Roy's study. The books on the shelf nearest to his desk were...

"Roy, you can't." She said worriedly, "You know that'll only make things worse."

"I'm willing to do anything to see again, Riza." The desperation in his tone sent a shiver down his spine.

"No!" She insisted firmly, "That alchemy is how you lost your sight in the first place! It always comes with a price, and no matter what you get back, who knows what you'll lose. You've been watching and helping the Elric brothers fight to fix their mistake for years, yet you want to make the same mistake they did?"

"...I want to see you, Riza."

"I know, Roy."

  
\---

Riza found herself surrounded by familiar faces in Roy's living room. Roy's whole former team dropped what they were doing to visit him, but he didn't want to see- er, be with them. After some bickering, he told her he'd be down in a few minutes, but he still wasn't here. She was definitely going to make him visit with them today even if she has to pull her gun on him... wait, she no longer has a gun. It was military issued.

"So... it's not looking good, Boss?" The blonde asked quietly through the cigarette dangling from his mouth. It wasn't lit, seeing as they were inside Roy's house, but he enjoyed the sensation of it being between his teeth. Riza didn't understand the appeal, but said nothing about it.

"No, it's... really not. I've had to move in with him full time so that--Jean, wipe that perverted grin off your face this instant, it isn't like that." Riza snapped.

"Sorry, Boss." The blonde obeyed quickly, resembling a frightened Black Hayate.

"Anyway--" Riza was interrupted by a shuffling sound on the stairwell.

Everyone's eyes shot up to watch the raven haired man gently grope the handrail, shuffling his feet slowly to find each step, his practically invisible irises scanning the room timidly despite not being able to see a thing.

The team greeted him enthusiastically, offering him "it's great to see you"'s and even the lie of "you're looking well."

But Riza saw their eyes dim as they scanned the man's condition. He practically skin and bones now despite Riza forcing him to eat three meals a day, though it wasn't that easy to notice beneath the long robe he was protectively clutching around himself. His heavy dark circles were clearly visible against his sickly pale skin, and his unkempt hair made him nearly unrecognizable. He briefly smiled at them in greeting, but it soon fell and a slight tremble in his body replaced it.

He looked like hell.

\---

It had been another two months since the team came to visit, and Riza was proud to say that Roy was definitely in better shape. He was back to a healthy weight, keeping up with proper hygiene, and leaving the house to socialize. He's much less dependent on Riza, she noted bittersweetly, and was successfully navigating his house without trouble. He'd even started learning to read Braille. Riza still helps where help is due, however - and even Black Hayate pitches in, becoming something of a seeing eye dog for Roy. Riza even suggested getting him properly certified, and Roy joked that the puppy would only end up pulling him into heavy traffic because he saw a bird. She laughed. He laughed. Things had been brighter since then.

Riza watched the snow fall lightly out the window as she leaned into the soft cushion of the armchair. She glanced over to Roy, in his usual position on the couch, though Black Hayate had joined him this time, curling up against the man's stomach for warmth. Riza smiled, her muscles relaxed and her eyelids drooped.

"Riza?" Roy spoke, but somehow it didn't break the tranquil atmosphere.

"Yes?" She asked gently.

"I feel... satisfied."

Riza's ears perked and her eyes opened again.

"Satisfied?" She inquired.

"I've been thinking about it. My dream of becoming Fuhrer was destroyed when I was discharged... but the reason for that dream was to fix Amestris and end the bloodshed.

"But I realize now... maybe becoming Fuhrer wasn't supposed to be my role in that journey in the first place? We fought, we did what we could, and in the end... look at Amestris now. We're at peace, and even if evil rises again in the future, we've done our part to leave the country in capable hands.

"Isn't that.... isn't it enough, Riza?"

Her lower lip trembled and she let her tears of joy fall freely. There wasn't anybody who could see them, anyway.

"Yes, Roy. It's enough. It's more than enough."


	2. The Fated Invitation

Riza stretched her shoulders towards the ceiling and let out a large yawn as she gazed outside the frost covered window behind the raven haired man across the table, who was absentmindedly sipping from a mug of coffee.

It was a lazy winter morning, where the chill had filled the house enough that the concept of leaving the radiating warmth of bed was a very unappealing one. Thus, the two stayed in until nearly eleven in the morning, until Riza finally motivated herself to get up and cook a nice brunch.

They ate in a comfortable silence as warmth crackled in the fireplace and snow fell merrily down upon the lawn, turning it into a sparkling sheet of pure white.

Riza admired the view from the window she was staring out of, until a gentle knock on the door pulled get out of her thoughts.

"That would be the mail," She said, lifting herself from the wooden seat as Roy listened intently to her opening the door and greeting the mailman before slowly shuffling back to her spot at the table.

"Anything interesting?" Roy inquired as he listened to the blonde shuffle through papers.

"Yes, actually! There's a pleasant surprise. A letter from the Elrics." She informed cheerily, and Roy could hear the smile in her voice as she tore the envelope open.

"Fullmetal writes letters? He really shouldn't, if his handwriting is still anything like it was on his old reports..." Roy remarked, an amused smirk on his face.

"It appears Alphonse wrote it." Riza stated, a matching smirk creeping onto her own features. "And it seems they're inviting us to Resembool for the holidays!"

"Really now?" Roy tilted his head, intrigued by the invitation. The Elrics and Rockbells had hinted at the fact that they should visit for the holidays sometime but had never formally invited them before, and Roy knew that was probably due to his condition.

"Yes. What do you think, though? Resembool is a long way away..." Riza said, and Roy could tell she was hiding the hopefulness in her voice. When had she last been on a trip, he wondered?

"Well, fresh countryside air sounds nice..." Roy mused, "Besides, I hate to admit it, but I'm almost beginning to miss getting to pick on Fullmetal."

"He's not Fullmetal anymore, you know." Riza reminded, "He resigned from the military."

"You're right. I should just call him Shrimpy. Or is Pipsqueak more appropriate?" Roy teased.

"Alphonse has informed me that Edward has recently grown, actually. Apparently now that his body is only supporting itself and not Alphonse too, he's been sprouting up!" Riza chuckled.

"I'd have to see it to believe it..." Roy mused, "And I'm blind! So even if he grows to be the tallest man in the world, he'll forever be a four-foot-elven bratty midget to me."

\- - -

Roy sat in the passenger's seat of the sleek black car, parked in front of a small apartment complex where Riza was now dropping off Black Hayate at Fuery's, who had agreed to watch the dog while the two were on holiday.

Roy exhaled hot breath into his freezing hands, rubbing them together quickly after. The engine of the car purred, but it offered little warmth in these winter days.

He heard the car door open and slam closed again, followed by the click of a seatbelt and the tap of fingers on the steering wheel.

"Well, that's done. To the train station!" The blonde cheered, and Roy couldn't help but smile at how uncharacteristically enthusiastic the exclamation was for the woman. With her many days of seriousness and stone cold masks in the military, Roy often forgot the fun and excitable side that hid deeply beneath her stoic rationality.

Frankly, he was excited himself. He didn't expect to be, but as they packed their bags and the holidays drew nearer, Roy couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation from his gut. He was excited as he's finally getting a true holiday outside of Central for the first time in... who knows how long?

But, he was also feeling nervous... as this was the first time he's left the city since the incident.

As if sensing his tension, Riza stole a concerned glance in his direction and cleared her throat gently.

"Are you alright?"

Roy stared wide eyed for a split second before relaxing once more.

"Of course. I'm just... hoping I won't be too much of a nuisance. I don't know my way around there, after all."

"Don't be silly," Riza smiled gently, "Nobody will think of you as a nuisance. Besides, even if you do end up getting lost... Edward's voice is so loud, it'll be easy to follow it back to their house."

The comment earned a hearty chuckle from Roy, which seemed to satisfy Riza.

"We're arriving at the train station," Riza informed, though Roy could tell on his own by hearing the gentle chugging along the tracks and the blow of a whistle.

The car came to a halt and Riza began to unbuckle her seatbelt, so Roy followed. He stepped out of the car, closing the door behind him then waiting patiently for Riza's guidance. He heard the trunk slam shut followed by the rolling wheels of a suitcase on asphalt, and he felt his hand lifted and placed on what he assumed was the handle of a suitcase.

"You wait here," Riza said, "and I'll go purchase the tickets and figure out where we need to go."

Roy obliged, leaning against the closed car door and rapping his fingers against the suitcase handle while his other hand stayed inside his warm coat pocket.

He yawned, noticing it seemed like it'd been quite some time since Riza had left to purchase the tickets. Since he couldn't see the time, he didn't know for sure... but certainly it'd been ten, maybe fifteen minutes? He couldn't hear much bustle or hustle, so the ticket line shouldn't be long.

Deciding it was better to be safe than sorry, he grabbed his walking stick which he had earlier leaned against the car and carefully made his way towards the station.

"Riza?" He called, but received no response.

"Riza...?" He tried again, more apprehensive this time, feeling something like worry set in his gut. He began to wonder if he even walked in the right direction, since he heard barely any sounds around him now.

He suddenly heard a couple footsteps in front of him, breaking the eery silence.

"Are you Roy Mustang?" A husky male voice inquired, and the raven haired man jumped.

"Yes..." He responded slowly, trying to remember if he recognized the voice or not.

"Your blonde lady friend is looking for you." The man informed, gently placing a hand on Roy's arm.

"Oh! Where is she--?"

Roy felt the hand on his arm tighten before an aggressive mix of pain and pressure assaulted the back of his head.

Then he knew no more.


	3. An Eye For An Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *awkward wave* Hey guys! ^^; I am sooooo sorry for such a late update! My computer crashed when I was almost done with a huge chapter and I lost the entire file. I was really frustrated and quit working on it for awhile, and when I finally started again, it's been really hard to get it as good as it was before. So, since I want to give you guys /something/, I split the huge chapter up into little bits to work in. So, here you go! Thank you so much for your Kudos and comments, they really mean a lot! Again, so sorry for not keeping you updated sooner!!

The first thing Roy registered when he awoke was a raw, biting chill eating at every inch of his (mostly exposed, he realized to his dismay) skin. The second thing he noticed was the pain. A dull ache resounded from his head and sharper throbs where the freezing metal restraints rubbed against his numbing skin. The third thing was-- _where the hell was Riza?!_

 

"Hello...?" His hoarse voice tested quietly, and he cringed at the way it echoed across the walls.

 

"Roy, you're awake!" A female voice responded in an odd mix of a whisper and an exclamation, relief dripping into her tone and the raven-haired man felt the tenseness leave his own shoulders.

 

"Riza," He whispered, "What happened? Are you hurt?"

 

"No, just a few bruises. It was a trap from the start. I was surrounded before I could even make it into the station--I was able to give a few bastards some cracked ribs, but there were a good eight or nine of them and I'm ashamed to say my skills have become... rusty." She coughed awkwardly, and Roy could hear the rustling of fabric as she attempted to switch positions.

 

"Don't sound so ashamed, Riza. I'm the one who literally walked into their arms. Granted, it's largely because I couldn't _see_ their arms." Roy cracked a small grin at his attempted humor, but quickly let it fall when he could feel the woman's glare piercing through him.

 

"Anyway," He swiftly changed the subject, "Do you have any clue where we are? Anything in the room that's of use?"

 

"It's dark, I can't see much." Riza admitted, "No windows and no furniture. One door, steel, and it appears to have multiple locks."

 

"So, essentially, we're in a cell of some sort. How long did it take to get here?"

 

"I was blindfolded, but if I were to guess it was a three to four hour car ride."

 

Roy nodded in response, before a sudden chill racked his body.

 

"It's also probably safe to assume there's no heating in this God-forsaken place." He sighed, and although he couldn't see it, he imagined his breath was visible in the air before him.

 

"We're probably either up in the mountains somewhere, or underground." Riza stated. "Once we find a way out, the next step will be actually getting back to civilization in this weather."

 

"Ugh. We should've just stayed home in the first place..."

 

"Edward wouldn't have let us hear the end of it, and that'd be just as bad of a situation as the one we're in now."

 

Roy couldn't help but smile at the joke, opening his mouth to jab back with some sly remark about the how the young man sure had long rants for his short height (even when kidnapped, how come it was just so satisfying to tease the kid?), but it was cut short by the sound of creaking metal and heavy footsteps.

 

"General Roy Mustang and Lieutenant Colonel Riza Hawkeye," The deep voice echoed through the walls, his tone confident and smug, to the point that Roy could almost see the smirk on the stranger's lips. "If I'm not mistaken?"

 

"You _are_ mistaken, I'm afraid." Roy responded smoothly, "We're just a couple of civilians. We haven't been soldiers in a long time."

 

"Once a man has soaked his hands in blood, a soldier he shall eternally remain." The stranger's voice echoed, "And you, The Flame and The Hawk's Eye, have your hands thoroughly dyed."

 

"Quite a statement," The raven-haired man responded hesitantly, not being able to deny the accusations but not wanting to admit to them either. "However, that doesn't change the fact that we are now entirely out of the military loop. Any information we possess is outdated, and we'll be worth very little ransom."

 

"I don't care about any of that, _Hero of Ishval._ " The man spat.

 

Roy froze and the weight sitting in the pit of his stomach grew heavier, because he had a feeling he knew where this was going and he did _not_ like it one bit.

 

"The only thing I care about is the _slaughter_ of my family." The man growled, his accent now identifiable as Ishvalan. Roy swallowed heavily, the weight of the truth heavy on his shoulders as the screams of children and the smell of rotting flesh crept into the edges of his memories. He knew it was true, he had massacred people's children, wives, husbands, parents, and siblings; he hadn't discriminated--so he did not suspect a single lie in the man's statement and he didn't want to. He didn't want to deny it, as a matter of fact he realized he'd be relieved if the man beat the snot out of him because maybe it'd be one step further down the seemingly impossible road to redemption.

 

But, Riza was here, and if he was hurt, she'd be hurt. So he couldn't let that happen.

 

"We... we understand," Riza offered quietly. "However, please consider that our countries have recently signed a peace treaty, and we don't want to be the cause of a second Ishvalan war any more than I'm sure you do."

 

Roy nodded internally at the woman's quick thinking. Yes, perhaps if they took a more political approach, they'd be able to negotiate--

 

_Slap!_

 

It took a moment for Roy to process that the sound echoing off the walls was the impact of skin against skin, but when he did, the man actually considered if he regained his sight because he could certainly see red right now.

 

"Don't touch her," Roy warned, venom seeping into his tone despite the blonde's quiet plea for him to stand down.

 

The raven-haired man quickly found himself with bony, cold fingers wrapping around his neck and chin, forcing him to "look" into eyes he wasn't sure were there.

 

"How _dare_ you?" The man growled, "You... you hurt so many. You tortured so many. You _killed_ my wife and sons. Yet, you have the audacity to _ask me not to touch her?_   So it only matters when it's _you_ suffering, huh?!"

 

"That's not--" Roy attempted to choke out a full sentence, but the hand cutting off his oxygen supply prevented it.

 

"And _you,_ " The Ishvalan's head snapped towards the blonde, "You dare say you _understand?_ You bring your _politics_ into this?! I don't give a damn what my country agreed to. They're weak now. They're pathetic. Unlike them, I refuse to kneel to the very men who took my life and home away from me; and I will not let a stupid treaty stand in the way of vengeance."

 

As the deprivation of breath continued, Roy started to feel his head begin to buzz and his hearing turn into a garbled mess, before finally the black of his vision turned into the darkness of the unconscious.

 

\---

 

"Hello?"

 

" _WHERE THE HELL IS THE BASTARD?!_ "

 

Fuery squealed as the voice boomed through the phone's earpiece, stumbling back as Black Hayate stared with his head tilted curiously.

 

" _I've been waiting here in the snow for hours! If he decided to take the next train, he should've at least let me know so I don't get hypothermia out here waiting for his ass to show up!_ "

 

"E-Edward?" Fuery stuttered sheepishly, getting a firmer grip on the phone now, just in case.

 

" _Oh, yeah... sorry._ " The young voice mumbled awkwardly, his rage cooling. " _It's Ed. Just wanted to know if you knew where the hell the Flame Brain is?_ "

 

"He's not there yet?"

 

" _No, I arrived at one-o-clock this afternoon and the last train just left. No sign of them. They're not there with you?_ "

 

Fuery nervously looked at the clock, reading it was just after eight in the evening, meaning the boy hadn't exaggerated when he said he'd been waiting hours.

 

"Well, to my knowledge, they're not here. They dropped Black Hayate with me and went straight to the station. At least that's what they said they were doing."

 

A colorful string of curses flew through the earpiece which Fuery promptly covered.

 

" _I bet they're home! I bet they tricked you into dog-sitting so they could have time alone! Dirty little--!_ "

 

"I'll get Havoc and we'll search their house. We'll call your home phone if we find anything. Tell us if you see any sign of him, too."

 

" _...Yeah. Sure._ "

 

_Click._

 

Fuery didn't know what it was, but something about that phone call made a weight heavy in his gut. Something... something was wrong. He had been feeling it all day, a low hum of anxiety, but now it was ever more apparent as he fumbled to punch in Havoc's number. He bounced up and down anxiously as the phone rang and rang and *rang*--

 

" _Hello?_ "

 

"Havoc, its Fuery, meet me at Mustang's place."

 

_Click._

 

And then, gun in hand and coat only half on, he ran.

 

\---

 

"What did you need _me_ for?" Havoc grumbled, gesturing at his wheelchair as the two sat hidden in the shadows of the street corner. "If the Boss is really in danger, you should call someone who can actually _help._ "

 

"I needed to be sure it wasn't a trap," The younger soldier responded, "The others would have to be called on their military lines. We can pretty much guarantee your house phone isn't tapped. Besides, you can still shoot, and all I need you to do is cover me."

 

The blonde sighed, chewing on the unlit cigarette in his mouth.

 

"Alright, but something still feels off about this. I'd feel safer if we had a team with us."

 

"Me too, but we don't have time for that."

 

Havoc nodded his head in agreement, although his posture still implied discomfort. He proceeded to load the weapon Fuery had provided, and turned the safety off with a *click*. He nodded towards the bespectacled soldier, who nodded in return before slowly climbing up to the house's front door and pressing his ear against it. After hearing nothing, his foot came into contact with the wood, cracking the lock and allowing it to swing open freely. The young soldier ran in, aiming his gun at the room in a full circle before moving onto the next room. Havoc was close behind him, keeping his back against walls while aiming his weapon at anything his friend may have missed. At last, Fuery quietly stepped out of the final room in the house, a solemn look on his face.

 

"Clear. Nobody's in here."

 

With that, Havoc's armed hand fell to his lap, and the butterflies in his stomach quickly turned to rocks.


	4. The Clock Starts Ticking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy October 3rd, guys! Sorry the chapter is on the short side, I just really wanted to get you guys an update! ^^ I have a new FMA fic coming, I may post the first chapter today, but worry not--this one is still my top priority. I hope you guys enjoy!

Ed's flesh leg bounced anxiously, the movement causing the springs in the couch to creak loudly, drawing the attention of Winry. She peered up from her latest automail project to gaze at her antsy husband, his shoulders stiff and his eyes not leaving the rotary phone on the wall across the room.

 

"Edward," The mechanic sighed, "I'm sure they just had to delay their trip because of this blizzard... that would also explain why they might've been unable to contact us. They're probably just in a hotel somewhere, waiting it out. Don't worry about it so much, yeah?"

 

"Sorry Win," Her husband responded, snapping out of his anxious trance to offer a sheepish grin. "Something just feels so... _wrong_ about this. It feels dangerous."

 

"Hmm," She stood from her desk, slipping onto the couch beside Edward and resting her head against his chest. "Guess you care about Mustang some after all, huh?"

 

"N-no way!" He spat, "I just feel bad for Hawkeye for getting pulled into all of his crap--!"

 

_Ring ring!_

 

Winry had already jumped off of the couch before Edward had even had a chance to move her out of the way, the two of them jogging towards the phone. They stared at each other for a moment, an unease in the air, before Edward shakily gripped the receiver.

 

"Hello?"

 

" _Hey Ed,_ " The gruff voice responded and Ed already knew it was bad news simply through the obvious strain in the man's fake positive tone.

 

"Havoc," The younger man breathed out, "Did you guys find anything?"

 

" _Actually, Chief... we did. But you ain't gonna like it._ "

 

Winry was also pressing her ear to the phone at this point, and she shifted awkwardly on her feet at that statement.

 

"What is it?"

 

" _Well, we raided their house and found nothin'. So we headed down to the station and asked the folks at the ticket booth, and they said that the two of them never turned in their tickets to board. But they also mentioned that a lot of passengers had taken refuge from this storm in a nearby inn, so we started to head that way when--"_

 

"Spit it out, Havoc!"

 

" _...Right, sorry. We found Hawkeye's car and Mustang's walking stick, Chief. The car was still runnin' and the walking stick was just laying in the middle of the damn path._ "

 

"...What?"

 

" _I know, it's real weird. We're going to keep searchin', but unfortunately we can't get the military officially involved until they've been missing for at least forty-eight hours._ "

 

"What the hell? Why not?!"

 

" _They're civilians now, ya know, it's not like we can report them MIA and get an immediate search party._ " 

 

"That's ridiculous! They are-- _were_ \--a General and Lieutenant Colonel! They saved the damn world from Homunculi!"

 

" _A time that the military would rather forget, Ed."_ Havoc reminded, _"Their damn leader was in on it, after all. It sucks, and it's wrong, but Mustang's promotion and discharge was partly to keep him quiet about it._ "

 

"You mean to tell me," Edward growled as he clenched his fists,"We all fought, our friends lost their lives and Roy lost his damn sight just for the government to be just as corrupt as it was _before_ the Promised Day!?"

 

" _Sorry Chief... it's the nature of the beast, I guess._ "

 

"Call me with updates, Havoc. I'm telling Al, and if the bastard doesn't show up within those forty-eight hours then we're taking the train down there and conducting our own damn search party."

 

" _Understood, Chief._ "

 

Ed seethed as he slammed the phone back into the receiver, massaging his temples while Winry rubbed his shoulders and whispered reassurances. The words fell on deaf ears, however, as his thoughts were so far away that it took him two rings and a shake of his shoulders to realize the phone was ringing again.

 

"Hello?"

 

" _Hello, Brother!_ " Al's young voice, still laced with a tinny ring even without the armor, resonated through the speaker.

 

"Hey, Al." Edward couldn't help but melt into a smile and Winry followed suit. "Are you out of Xing?"

 

" _Yes, Mei and I just arrived at the next station. We'll be taking the train down to Resembool in the morning. Have Mr. Mustang and Ms. Riza arrived yet?_ "

 

"Actually, Al... something came up."

 

\---

 

Roy Mustang was a well trained soldier. He'd been through extensive training in resisting enemy interrogations, and thus, physical torture was bearable. He could take beatings, whippings, burning, electrocution... he wasn't new to any of it. This, though... this was a torture he'd never be prepared for. No physical pain was being inflicted, no screams were resounding the room. Yet it was so much worse.

 

For the past several hours, the man had been calmly reciting every last intimate detail about the two sons Roy had slain. Their favorite colors, their favorite animals, their favorite subjects in school. The games they were good and bad at, their best friends (and how they had watched said friends die), even down to the smallest of details like how one had a scar on his knee from falling as a child and the other struggled learning to tie his sandals. He was, Roy realized, giving information in such depth that only someone close to the children would know these things about them... so he, in turn, would feel agonizingly close to them.

 

Riza probably thought he didn't remember them, didn't see much of them before he snapped his fingers. But oh, how wrong she'd be. He knew exactly who the man was talking about. He had watched them from a corner, the two of them playing side-by-side, practicing what appeared to be _alchemy._ The boys' concepts were genius, and Roy couldn't help but stay and listen. Not to gain anything, but instead to question whether or not he really needed to do this. They were children--yes, he'd killed children, but these were _special_ children. Oh, how they could help the world now with their bright ideas and innocent ambition...

 

The Elric brothers reminded him of those two Ishvalan boys. Every time the memory made its way into his dreams, before he snapped his fingers and ended the unsuspecting children's lives, their faces would morph into a familiar pale complexion with golden eyes and hair. Roy would've killed Edward and Alphonse, he realized. If they had been on opposite sides of the frontline, would the Roy of the past even hesitate? No. Gold would turn to ash and he wouldn't look back. The picture was a common presence in his nightmares; when he wasn't burning Riza, or Maes, or his team... he was burning the Elric brothers, and for some reason, their screams were the loudest and their deaths took the longest.

 

"And you know what the worst part is, General?"

 

Mustang snapped out of his trance, quickly attempting to erase the charred faces from his mind to maintain composure.

 

"They looked up to you. My boys were prodigies... and the work they admired most was _yours._ " Roy felt his body freeze and his head reel but the man didn't take this as an invitation to pause. "They saw you out on the fields. They didn't even know you were an enemy, despite how much I showed them the damage you caused and the people you'd killed. They were naive... they thought alchemy could only be used for good, and so they were convinced you were a hero. They thought that meant you would _save_ them."

 

He felt the blonde stiffen by his side, her eyes piercing into him with what Roy knew was concern but his brain told him was judgement. Why wouldn't it be? Even she should be disgusted with him. He _wanted_ her to be disgusted with him. For all he had done, who wouldn't be? He was breathing heavily now, his limbs shaking as he smelt smoke and burning flesh and heard sirens screeching and children crying and endless gunfire. He heard snapping, snapping, _snapping_ as he watched the world blaze around him and he saw a gun on the ground, he didn't know what possessed him but he picked it up. He could end it now, he knew. He was ready to die.

 

If the man towering above him were to kill him, he figured he'd be happy.

 

" _Roy!_ "

 

The pressure on his shoulder only increased the shaking of his limbs--oh God, they had him now, women and children and elderly innocents all clutching at his uniform and tearing his skin with their charred hands--

 

"Roy, please, he's gone. You're safe."

 

But he wasn't, how could he be? In the middle of the battlefield, being engulfed by his own flames as voices taunted him; _how could you do this? Monster! Monster!_

 

"Roy, listen to me. You're not in Ishval anymore. I've got you. Breathe."

 

How could she be so sure? He couldn't see a thing! How was he supposed to know they were safe? How was he supposed to know it was over?!

 

" _Trust me,_ Roy."

 

The man felt his shaking form lifted into strong arms, his head being pushed against Riza's warm chest as she inhaled and exhaled exaggeratedly.

 

"You're hyperventilating. Try to match my breathing."

 

He inhaled hungrily at first before eventually falling into the rhythm, his body relaxing and the fire clearing from his blackened vision as the voices faded and the screaming ceased.

 

"I'm sorry," He murmured into her shirt, "I don't know what came over me. That hasn't happened in years."

 

"It's okay," The blonde replied, "Just sleep for now. We'll worry about it later."

 

His exhausted body complied before his brain even had time to process the instruction.

 

\---

 

Havoc let out a shaky sigh as he ran his hand over his previous superior's walking stick as it laid across his lap while Fuery pushed his wheelchair, the blonde man too drained to protest and insist he push himself. 

"We'll find them, Havoc." The young voice said quietly in response to the older man's clear distress.  
  


"I know we will. But we don't have the resources that we used to... I know we and the Elric brothers are too stubborn to stop trying, so of course we _will_  eventually find them... but the question is: will we find them in _time?_ "

 


End file.
